#literal tears and i can't even relate in any way

[jakeperalta]

listening to yoko by maisie peters

[kaijuno]

"No piece of art has ever emotionally affected me the way this robot arm piece has. It's programmed to try to contain the hydraulic fluid that’s constantly leaking out and required to keep itself running...if too much escapes, it will die so it's desperately trying to pull it back to continue to fight for another day. Saddest part is they gave the robot the ability to do these 'happy dances' to spectators. When the project was first launched it danced around spending most of its time interacting with the crowd since it could quickly pull back the small spillage. Many years later... (as you see it now in the video) it looks tired and hopeless as there isn't enough time to dance anymore.. It now only has enough time to try to keep itself alive as the amount of leaked hydraulic fluid became unmanageable as the spill grew over time. Living its last days in a never-ending cycle between sustaining life and simultaneously bleeding out... (Figuratively and literally as its hydraulic fluid was purposefully made to look like it's actual blood).

"The robot arm finally ran out of hydraulic fluid in 2019, slowly came to a halt and died - And I am now tearing up over a friggin robot arm 😭 It was programmed to live out this fate and no matter what it did or how hard it tried, there was no escaping it. Spectators watched as it slowly bled out until the day that it ceased to move forever. Saying that 'this resonates' doesn't even do it justice imo. Created by Sun Yuan & Peng Yu, they named the piece, 'Can't Help Myself'. What a masterpiece. What a message."

Extended interpretations: the hydraulic fluid in relation to how we kill ourselves both mentally and physically for money just in an attempt to sustain life, how the system is set up for us to fail on purpose to essentially enslave us and to steal the best years of our lives to play the game that the richest people of the world have designed. How this robs us of our happiness, passion and our inner peace. How we are slowly drowning with more responsibilities, with more expected of us, less rewarding pay-offs and less free time to enjoy ourselves with as the years go by. How there's really no escaping the system and that we were destined at birth to follow a pretty specific path that was already laid out before us. How we can give and give and give and how easily we can be forgotten after we've gone.. How we are loved and respected when we are valuable, then one day we aren't any longer and we become a burden...and how our young, free-caring spirit gets stolen from us as we get churned out of the broken system that we are trapped inside of. Can also be seen to represent the human life cycle and the fact that none of us make it out of this world alive. But also can act as a reminder to allow yourself to heal, rest and love with all of your heart. That the endless chase for 'more' isn't necessary in finding your own inner happiness.”

[bixels]

Portal 2 is still the perfect game to me. I hyperfixated on it like crazy in middle school. Would sing Want You Gone out loud cuz I had ADHD and no social awareness. Would make fan animations and pixel art. Would explain the ending spoilers and fan theories to anyone who'd listen. Would keep up with DeviantArt posts of the cores as humans. Would find and play community-made maps (Gelocity is insanely fun).

I still can't believe this game came out 12 years ago and it looks like THIS.

Like Mirror's Edge, the timeless art style and economic yet atmospheric lighting means this game will never age. The decision not to include any visible humans (ideas of Doug Rattmann showing up or a human co-op partner were cut) is doing so much legroom too. And the idea to use geometric tileset-like level designs is so smart! I sincerely believe that, by design, no game with a "realistic art style" has looked better than Portal 2.

Do you guys remember when Nvidia released Portal with RTX at it looked like dogshit? Just the most airbrushed crap I've ever seen; completely erased the cold, dry, clinical feel of Aperture.

So many breathtakingly pit-in-your-stomach moments I still think about too. And it's such a unique feeling; I'd describe at as... architectural existentialism? Experiencing the sublime under the shadow of manmade structures (Look up Giovanni Battista Piranesi's art if you're curious)? That scene where you're running from GLaDOS with Wheatley on a catwalk over a bottomless pit and––out of rage and desperation––GLaDOS silently begins tearing her facility apart and Wheatley cries 'She's bringing the whole place down!' and ENORMOUS apartment building-sized blocks begin groaning towards you on suspended rails and cement pillars crumble and sparks fly and the metal catwalk strains and bends and snaps under your feet. And when you finally make it to the safety of a work lift, you look back and watch the facility close its jaws behind you as it screams.

Or the horror of knowing you're already miles underground, and then Wheatley smashes you down an elevator shaft and you realize it goes deeper. That there's a hell under hell, and it's much, much older.

Or how about the moment when you finally claw your way out of Old Aperture, reaching the peak of this underground mountain, only to look up and discover an endless stone ceiling built above you. There's a service door connected to some stairs ahead, but surrounding you is this array of giant, building-sized springs that hold the entire facility up. They stretch on into the fog. You keep climbing.

I love that the facility itself is treated like an android zooid too, a colony of nano-machines and service cores and sentient panel arms and security cameras and more. And now, after thousands of years of neglect, the facility is festering with decomposition and microbes; deer, raccoons, birds. There are ghosts too. You're never alone, even when it's quiet. I wonder what you'd hear if you put your ear up against a test chamber's walls and listened. (I say that all contemplatively, but that's literally an easter egg in the game. You hear a voice.)

Also, a reminder that GLaDOS and Chell are not related and their relationship is meant to be psychosexual. There was a cut bit where GLaDOS would role-play as Chell's jealous housewife and accuse her of seeing other cores in between chambers. And their shared struggle for freedom and control? GLaDOS realizing, after remembering her past life, that she's become the abuser and deciding that she has the power to stop? That even if she can't be free, she can let Chell go because she hates her. And she loves her. Most people interpret GLaDOS "deleting Caroline in her brain" as an ominous sign, that she's forgetting her human roots and becoming "fully robot." But to me, it's a sign of hope for GLaDOS. She's relieving herself of the baggage that has defined her very existence, she's letting Caroline finally rest, and she's allowing herself to grow beyond what Cave and Aperture and the scientists defined her to be. The fact that GLaDOS still lets you go after deleting Caroline proves this. She doesn't double-back or change her mind like Wheatley did, she sticks to her word because she knows who she is. No one and nothing can influence her because she's in control. GLaDOS proves she's capable of empathy and mercy and change, human or not.

That's my retrospective, I love this game to bits. I wish I could experience it for the first time again.

[copperbadge]

So the ADHD Handbook post struck a chord with a lot of people...

I don't think I have it in me to write the book I suggested, mainly because most of what I want to write about is variable by situation. I can't actually offer a magic formula for getting a good assessment, all I would be able to do is say "Here are the warning signs, here's my personal story, shit's just rough". Which I could do but it'd be basically an entire book of "shrug emoji". The best possible way would probably be to offer it as a workbook, like "Here is a page for you to record every communication with the clinic doing your testing. Here is a page for you to write down possible other approaches to getting your medication if the pharmacy is out." etc.

I do think I might write it as a novel of some kind. Possibly even a novel about someone writing a handbook, I haven't decided. I had a dream last night about the book, in which I saw a woman watching a revolution taking place in the distance, thinking, "This is not what I intended when I set out to write a self-help book." Baller way to start a novel, honestly.

Anyway there were several suggestions for books in the notes, so I thought I'd compile those here. I have read none of these, so I can't vouch for their contents, but I'm including what my readers said about them.

@blogquantumreality linked to How To ADHD by Jessica McCabe, who is a well-known ADHD youtuber (I haven't found her videos super helpful but they're also not aimed at me). @knitsinweirdplaces added "The last section of the How to ADHD book is literally called 'how to change the world' and exactly points out we can advocate for a more disability friendly world that traumatizes ADHDer less in the first place. It's the only book I've read that hits the balance of 'your brain has immutable challenges' and 'these strats may help' right. Bonus, it is inclusive of people who use adhd meds and those who don't/can't."

@theindefinitearticle mentioned "I read how to keep house while drowning recently and it's been much more practical for me in terms of actual usable advice." This book has also come up numerous times during National Clean Your Home Month as a helpful guide to cleaning.

@buginateacup said "The year I met my brain is the only one I've read that actually felt like it was making useful suggestions for living with ADHD."

@cabloom said "iampayingattention on Instagram wrote How Not To Fit In."

@grison-in-space said "Do you have any idea how over the top excited I was when I found I Overcame My Autism and All I Got Was This Lousy Anxiety Disorder?"

@doubleminorforroughing wrote "Please read Devon Price. He wants to tear it all down and I love it." I will add that I don't think I've read Laziness Does Not Exist but I have read Price's shortform work extensively and I think he's been very influential in rethinking how we frame laziness and productivity in relation to both work and neurodivergence, so I can second the recommendation.

[kazutora-kurokawa]

Hello! how are you? im here again heheh well, i recently had a thought✨ i've seen so many post about Mickey and Smiley being the "worst boyfriend(s)", but on those post i haven't seen a Reader who ends the relationship in a "Mature way". Like: "I know we both are young, but i can't be with someone who is not serious in a relatioship. You're not romantic, nor make details for the two of us, not even hang out with me, you prefer to hang out with you gang friends... I guess you're not ready for a relationshi, it doesn't matter what i do, you don colaborate with me" and then, break up :) how would the react to that situation? would they be mad? they'll change? or regret all the things they did? (you could add any other character you want beside mickey and Smiley) Thnks you so much <3 and sorry for my lowprice enlish

How They React When You Break Up With Them For Being Immature

Characters: Mikey, Nahoya, Takemichi

♡ SFW, angst, gn reader, break ups, crying, cursing, possessiveness ♡

note: thanks for requesting 💗 I haven't written anything that wasn't school related in a while and college is kicking my brain's ass, so excuse me if I'm a little rusty lol

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Mikey

💙 Unbothered at first because he thinks you're overreacting

💙 Goes to Draken for advice and freaks out when he realizes that he's been essentially ignoring your existence

"Why didn't you tell me sooner Ken-Chin?!"

"Why should I have to tell you what you're doing, dumbass!"

💙 He tries to make up for it by being more present and carving out time for you (he shows up at your house in the wee hours of the morning until you let him in and forgive him)

Nahoya

🧡 Break up? That's not in his vocabulary babes

"Fuck you mean break up? You stuck with me." 😁

🧡 He's not letting you out of his life, so he'll get his shit together real quick

🧡 Pretends you never tried to break up with him, in his mind it never happened and he'll get embarrassed if you mention it in front of other people

Takemichi

☘️ In fucking tears, literally on the ground begging for forgiveness

"Y/n please, I'm so so so sorry baby. Don't leave, I'll change, I'll leave the gang if that's what you want!"

☘️ Obviously that's not what you want, you just want some time alone with him and you let him know that

☘️ He starts ditching gang meetings to take you out on dates more often, Mikey doesn't seem to mind, as long as Takemichi brings him some snacks back

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Taglist

@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katkusuo @happy-trenchcoated-impala @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies @manji-hoe @southside-otaku @xxchthonicreaturexx @evergreen-endo @hanmaslilslut @dystop4in14nd @mysouleaten @mdsbabygirl

[corseque]

one of my new year's resolutions was to stop thinking about how DA4 sucks, and I failed within a week because I was thinking about how good Emet-Selch is and I started mentally comparing them and getting So Mad. The BioWare devs played FFXIV!! They had the exact framework of how to conclude a complicated antagonist's story. Why was it so fucking difficult? Almost every single element was the same, it just fell on its face because the world and Solas were simplified and stupid. Poor Solas. I'm actually so glad that Emet gave me Solas closure years ago, but I'm surprised at how bad the re-opened wounds hurt me.

I made a Spotify playlist of all the canon FFXIV music that is related to Emet-Selch in my mind, and the playlist is literally 3 hours and 45 minutes long. Imagine if Veilguard had music!! Imagine if Solas had that much music after two video games. Imagine if the music related every character under a beautiful overarching theme. ARGHH I tear my hair out. We were so close to greatness. It really was within reach. It didn't even need to be AS good as Emet-Selch, it just needed to be at least one step of complication in a way I couldn't predict. I'm just frustrated that there was not even a SINGLE further step than what I had already thought about. There wasn't any kind of complication. It was exactly what I thought, and then it was over as soon as everything I already knew about for 10 years was finally revealed to everyone. The key to the story was Solas saying "oh my bad." What kind of simple and easy story is that?? I hate everything so much always forever ahhh I can't even type coherently. Filled with a baby rage about it months later.

Emet-Selch, please give me closure again

oh well, I'll just go back to trying not to think about it now

[celestie0]

MASSIVE gojo x reader fanfic rec (no spoilers)

ok i know a lot of my followers are gojo girlies and i just need to put yall onto this fucking fanfiction because i just read the latest release for it and i’m genuinely tweaking rn🧍🏻‍♀️

@lostfracturess ‘s amazing work called “symptoms & causes” - a medical au

[image pulled from her masterlist]

let me just…let me just try to even gather the reasons why you need to add this to your tbr lists (weekend is comin up too so perfect time)

characterization of gojo satoru.

gojo in this fic is characterized so fucking well, from chapter one. there are so many distinctive ways miss lostfractures goes about building his aura (word of mouth/reputation, dialogue, expository, primary interactions, secondary interactions, etc.) it reminds me of the show where gojo just has this energy to him that you can't tear yourself away from i picture him in this fic to be unrelenting, unforgiving, morally grey, with an undertone of softness yet still feral through it all,, basically gojo during shibuya arc LOL. i looove reading cute silly boy gojo fics sm (he’s so baby) but THIS fic explores the borderline wicked side of him that is so thrilling, unique, and rare to find i think in this fandom’s collection of works. it’s just so fucking good.

forbidden romance.

UGGHH i love stories w forbidden romance. in this one, it’s med student reader x professor gojo (additional power dynamics in that he’s a senior surgeon in her field and also a research mentor in her study of interest…TRIPLE THREAT DAMN). i love how miss lostfractures doesn’t shy away from reminding the reader that it’s wrong, and that they shouldn’t be doing this. that’s my fave part of forbidden romances like yesss remind me again why this is all so wrong but let’s still do it anyways LOL <333

reader’s voice.

i’ve LOVED reader since the beginning, so relatable, emotionally mature, all her flaws are so believable & her strengths are shown seamlessly. it’s just so much fun to read because i’ll literally have a thought like “hmm…that (something a character said/did) doesn’t sound very convincing” and then the next line will be something like “he didn’t sound very convincing” like!!! me and s&c reader?? we’re locked in like this fr🤞🏼 like gojo’s domain expansion fingers

escapism.

everything in this story feels so damn real it’s insane. the pacing is stunning, love the utilization of stacks of scenes that are sort of short but so concise, enough to be a smooth read but still descriptive enough to entirely transport you into the world that’s being built. cannot praise the writing in this story enough. also the variety of ways that scenarios are made that pull characters closer to one another?? so creative. as someone who works in a research lab, studied bio in college (some of the fkn biochem stuff that comes up in this fic gives me heart attacks lmfaooo pls im traumatized), and has worked in clinics/hospitals it just itches my brain so damn good. you’ll be convinced you’re a brilliant med student while you read this fic.

writing.

the writing is just. so. good. it’s so good. better than most PUBLISHED works i’ve read. i really can't say much other than that, you just have to go see for yourself.

—

if any of these reasons speak to you, i highly recommend you check the fic out. just a note tho it does have some dark themes but you can find all the tags/warnings on her page!

OK BYE

[solxamber]

Hello! Can I please request some (HI3) Su or Kevin Kaslana × gn Reader? I am desperate for these men's attention and loveeee and there's still little content of them bc they're MEN

Kevin Kaslana, Su x reader (separate)

i hope you like it <3

Kevin Kaslana

The day starts with the unmistakable scent of… smoke?

You roll out of bed, eyes still heavy with sleep, and stumble your way to the kitchen. The sight that greets you is both terrifying and, somehow, endearing. Kevin Kaslana—legendary hero, the man who could probably fight a god and win—stands in front of the stove, holding a spatula like it’s a sword, fighting an invisible enemy. Except that enemy isn’t invisible at all; it’s the charred remains of what was probably once eggs.

“Kevin?” you ask, cautiously. “Are you… making breakfast?”

Kevin, with his signature stoic expression, looks up at you, his blue eyes alight with what could only be described as misplaced confidence. “Yes. Sit down. I wanted to make something special for you.”

You glance at the table, where a plate of pancakes—if you can even call them that—sit proudly. They’re oddly shaped, resembling abstract art more than anything edible. One has a suspiciously black ring around it, as though it was scorched in some breakfast-related battle.

Kevin, in all his earnest glory, beams. “I followed the recipe exactly.”

Oh no.

He approaches you with a plate in hand, the eggs…well, the crispy yellow-grey matter, and those "pancakes" sit like fallen soldiers on a battlefield. You can't help but blink back tears—whether from love or sheer horror, you’re not sure. Still, you sit down, heart full of affection for this man who could literally conquer worlds but was taken down by basic breakfast foods.

You pick up your fork, praying silently to whatever cosmic beings might be listening, and take a bite of the eggs first. They crunch. Eggs are not supposed to crunch.

Kevin’s eyes are on you, filled with hope. “How is it?” he asks, voice soft.

You nod, swallowing the egg with a Herculean effort. “It’s… perfect,” you lie, because you love him. Because despite the fact that your teeth are struggling to make sense of what’s in your mouth, you’d eat burnt eggs for him any day.

Next, you tackle the pancake. This might be your biggest challenge yet. You stab your fork into it, and it fights back. You break off a piece and chew—slowly, carefully. You think, at one point, you might have cracked a tooth.

And yet, you smile through it all. Tears welling in your eyes. “It’s amazing, Kevin. You’re amazing.”

Kevin, ever the hero, takes a seat across from you, completely oblivious to the carnage on your plate. “I’m glad you like it. I’ll make breakfast more often.”

Your soul leaves your body for a moment. More often? You’d rather face a thousand Honkai Beasts than go through this breakfast nightmare again, but you simply nod because… well, you love him.

And love means sacrifice, even if that sacrifice is your taste buds.

Su

Living with Su was like living in a Zen garden. Every day felt like you were being gently guided toward inner peace, whether you asked for it or not.

Today, though, was different. Su had decided it was cleaning day.

You sat on the couch, buried under a blanket and scrolling mindlessly through your phone, while Su moved through the apartment like a breeze of calm efficiency. Armed with a feather duster, he approached the bookshelf like he was about to perform a sacred ritual. He wiped every surface with such gentleness that it made you feel like a heathen for how you usually did it: with a wet rag and a lot of impatience.

"You're really into this, huh?" you asked, glancing at him over the top of your phone. He was now rearranging the plants in the corner, positioning them so they could “better absorb the morning sunlight.”

He gave you that serene smile, the one that felt like a warm hug to your soul and also made you feel like you should be meditating more. "A tidy space promotes a tidy mind."

“Right, of course,” you muttered, pulling the blanket tighter around you as though shielding yourself from his overly serene aura. “And here I thought we were just trying to find that sock I lost.”

Su, always in tune with the subtleties of the universe, of course already had the sock in his hand—folded neatly, as if it were a rare artifact. “This one?”

You stared at it, blinking. "That’s it? How did you—"

"I found it under the couch. It was stuck in the farthest corner," he said simply, as if retrieving lost items from the void was just part of his daily routine.

You let out a sigh of wonder. "You're like some kind of cleaning magician."

He chuckled softly, a rare sound, and moved on to the next task with the calm determination of a monk on a pilgrimage. Now he was folding laundry, and you felt a twinge of guilt watching him work so quietly, so efficiently.

Finally, you tossed the blanket aside, standing up dramatically. "Alright, alright! I’ll help!"

But the moment you grabbed a towel to fold, Su gently placed a hand on your shoulder. "There’s no rush," he said softly. "Sit. Relax."

You blinked. "Relax? While you do everything? I’ll feel like a horrible person!"

He smiled, his eyes half-lidded in that eternally calm way of his. "There’s balance in everything. Today, your role is to rest. Tomorrow, you’ll find your own tasks."

“Are you sure?” you asked hesitantly, already half-sitting back down.

“Positive,” he said, moving onto folding another perfectly aligned piece of laundry. “Besides, I enjoy this.”

You watched him for a moment, biting your lip. "You enjoy folding laundry?"

"It gives me time to think," he said, as if he were discussing the secrets of the cosmos. "It’s a form of meditation."

Right. Of course it was.

You sat back down, watching as Su continued his cleaning and folding. The air around him seemed to hum with tranquility, making you feel oddly relaxed despite the fact that he was doing all the work.

And then, to your surprise, he paused, turning to you with a faint smile. “Maybe next time, you can teach me your way of folding.”

You snorted, picturing the chaotic heap of mismatched clothes that passed as "folded" when you were in charge. “Trust me, you don’t want to learn my way.”

But Su just smiled, his eyes soft. “I think I’d enjoy learning anything from you.”

And somehow, in that simple, serene moment, your heart felt like it was being tucked neatly into a drawer, folded perfectly with the same care Su gave to everything in his life—including you.

i've only read elysia fics because i'm deeply in love with her but i see that there's a lack of fics in hi3 and i'm gonna fill that void myself now

Masterlist

[mythicmanuscripts]

Just a notion relating to sub aemond

Imagine not being a native speaker of high valyrian but learning the phrase good boy in high Valyrian and then out of nowhere one day just springing it on him when he's close to finishing, and then he does epically

I think the best way is to use it sparingly only on special occasions when he's been extra good so it doesn't loose its affect on him😂

Idk if its just me but I think that shits hawtttt

(Big fan of your blog btw!!!)

Absolutely brilliant idea anon! I love this so so much.

NSFW sub!aemond below the cut!

My immediate thought with this was actually just that Aemond would probably get so emotional to realise you spending time to learn something important to him? I don't just mean a wholeass language either. If he realises you've been reading some of his favourite history books or taking note of his favourite foods or even just asking him about his training.

From the moment he was born he had countless duties shoved upon him. He had so many expectations of him the moment he was born and all he's ever known is desperate attempts to meet those expectations and always failing by virtue of being the second son.

Of course he eventually learnt his own interests and things he enjoys, mostly just riding Vhagar, reading and training. He never actually thought he'd have anyone take any interest to what he likes, and he certainly never expected anyone to actually want to spend time with him.

So when he meets his future wife and you start to ask him things about what he likes, he's confused. At first he thinks you're just trying to make small talk to make things less awkward and he really has no idea what to do with himself when you actually remember everything and bring things up later and try to form a real connection with him.

The first time you mention that you were actually busy reading a book he had said was one of his favourites he has to turn away from you to prevent you from seeing the tears welling in his eyes. He just... he didn't know it was possible to actually bond with someone like he is with you.

(Sidenote before we get into the actual content of the ask: I think in response to this he would dive head first into literally anything you were interested in. You best believe he will read every favourite book of yours multiple times, will ensure the kitchen is always stocked with your favourite foods, will spend hours learning about something you like)

I think the idea to learn a few choice High Valyrian words and phrases came about when you started to realise how much Aemond prides himself on his High Valyrian. You knew he was fluent, but it takes a while to realise that he has spent many many more hours learning it than necessary and he prides himself on being able to speak and read it fluently.

So you decide to surprise him by learning a few special words and phrases in the language. It takes a while before you can find a tutor that you're confident won't spoil the surprise but once you do, you get to work on ensuring your pronunciation is perfect.

The first time you call him a good boy this way is during a very intense scene. Aemond loves to be pushed and wrecked, loves being made to cum so many times he can't stop twitching and whining. For his last orgasm of the day, you ride him and just as you're about to finish you whisper 'good boy' in high Valyrian in his ear and yup he's done for. It takes him HOURS to come back from subspace that time, just laying with you and letting you look after him without a care in the word because... because good boy.

After that reaction you ensure to use it whenever he's been really really good and no matter how many times you do so, it always turns him completely to mush.

I also think he'd be so touched and happy if you started trying to learn the language properly? The moment he finds out you're still meeting with the tutor he confronts you and when you say you know it's important to him so you want to learn it, he nearly starts crying again.

Needless to say, he tells you to stop paying the tutor and to let him help you. At first you're worried about it because he's obviously very very far ahead in it, but you quickly realise he absolutely loves teaching you. Normally he has no time for those he seems less intelligent but it's completely different with you because he doesn't see you that way at all. He's well aware of just how intelligent you are in other fields and he's so touched that you'd learn a whole language for him.

Some of Aemond's favourite nights are the ones spent curled up by the fireplace with you, a book in High Valyrian on his lap with you leaning against him, listening or trying to read some of it. Over time you become fluent in it and pretty soon Aemond speaks to you more in High Valyrian than he does in English.

[katzkinder]

@ky-kyu you asked about gluttony pair and it got kinda long so I decided to make it a separate post for the sake of people's dashboards. Also, I have another post here!

But I have more thoughts on them thanks to this page Yarra shared earlier, and many more besides, but I'll stick to this scene because otherwise this will really turn into a monster.

the wording nicco uses in the right panel is pretty moving, especially in relation to gluttony, at least in my opinion, and these scene between them is what really made me fall in love with these two as characters who were, quite literally, made for one another.

Basically, it's about how the opposite of Gluttony is a banquet.

Having so much excess and sharing it with others, allowing someone to fill their plate without worry because you know you have more, and how that relates to Nicco being the Eve who has an entire group of people surrounding him at all times, something which makes him unique as far as the main cast go because he's always being supported. The other Eves don't really have like... An entire group of human characters they're close with the way Nicco does.

A banquet without guests will simply rot and go to waste. Nicco, being a mafia boss, brings all those guests with him and allows them to partake of what he has to offer.

Food tastes the best when you share it with someone you love, and your joy is multiplied through their own. The joy of a shared meal cannot be understated. Even terrible food becomes fun when you have someone to laugh about it with. Even failure becomes tolerable when you share it.

And it's just. One of the first moments of big characterization we get from Ildio when we see his past is that he is a man who shares what little he has, even though he acknowledges that he has earned it, and the little slave girl has not. Even that far back, when his only desires went as far as an animal understanding of life, he was someone who could have, and probably did, draw in others around him for that unthinking kindness, so I really love how Nicco handles his problems. Because they actually share a similar fault

Both of them will attempt to take on too much for themselves to bear, and yet they can't help it. To defend the weak is what they feel they must do.

Gluttons for punishment, as it goes

And yet...

To be able to share the pain and the joys, to have a feast with one another with life as the centerpiece…

I think it's just… Extremely beautiful, the way their love for their fellow man is able to express itself

And I think it's even more beautiful, the way that even when being beat to a pulp, Nicco takes the time to look and see and experience the pain Ildio doesn't even realize he's holding onto

He doesn't let Inner Gluttony distract him. He doesn't entertain the demon attempting, however poorly, to shelter Ildio's heart by putting the blinders on. He speaks to him as an equal. As a friend. As someone who is worth listening to, and cherishing. He helps Ildio to face his grief.

He gives Ildio the same love he would give to any friend. Bite by bite, tear by tear, Nicco shares the burden Ildio tried to be Atlas about.

The song Nicco sings while they dance with the people they've loved and lost is Ciuri Ciuri. It's a Sicilian folksong, whose title means "Flowers, Flowers"

The verse Strike has carefully written out on the page translates to "Flowers flowers, flowers all the year. The love you gave me, I give you back"

And the love Nicco gives to Ildio...

Ildio will give back to him.

[engiebabey]

Sending in another ask bc I love ur writing style!!

I yearn for a babysitter scout

Anything you wanna do for him is fine!

:3

doing some hcs! i divided it into three parts bc i think he acts differently with different age groups of littles

warnings: talks of crying/tantrums, one mention of death, one mention of fighting, use of "big brother"

(0-2) babyspace

literally the definition of "fake it till you make it", since scout's usually the youngest of whatever group he's in (whether that be the mercs or his family), he's never had to take care of a baby before

holds you pretty awkwardly but surprisingly safe because he's scared of dropping you

will try to talk to you and expect answers until he remembers you're a baby

"so, uh, what kinda games you wanna play?" "ah?" "oh, yeah, nevermind."

gives you random objects to teeth/drool on like clean socks and spoons from the kitchen

usually doesn't like to ask for help, but if you wear diaps, he will 100% go to spy or engie and hold you up like a wet little cat and ask "help how do i change this thing"

weirdly likes making bottles. thinks it's relaxing to fill it up and feed you

favorite thing is to make you laugh. he'll do the thingy wear he tears paper to make you squeal and giggle. hearing you laugh makes him laugh

literally the only time scout has any patience is when he's taking care of you

tries putting you down for a nap and ends up sleeping with you because he doesn't want to leave you

good at calming you down when you cry

"shh, kid, it's okay, big brother's right here"

(3-4) toddlers

he enjoys that you're able to talk with him because all he does is talk

will tell you jokes and you usually don't get the punchline because it's something tom jones or death related

eats your snacks with you. like straight up steals handfuls of cheerios and yogurt bites off your table, he thinks they're delicious

tries to sneak bonk! into your sippy cup and gets yelled at by the other mercs later when you won't take a nap

tries to pay attention to you but always gets distracted, loses you very easily. by the time scout turns around, you're halfway down the other side of the hallway

makes a very poor attempt to teach you baseball, but it usually just devolves into a clumsy game of catch instead

if you won't eat, he either does "here comes the airplane!" or pretends to eat your food to make you jealous

calls his mom when you won't behave, "hey ma, how did ya deal with me when i was a kid?"

thinks it's hilarious to tickle you, will bring out the tickle monster

has a hard time trying to deal with tantrums, usually tries the distraction method of presenting toys to you. if you're really sobbing, he'll wait it out because he doesn't want to upset you further

(5+) kiddos

he's weirdly a lot more chill the older you are in regression, he feels he needs to have rules and guidelines for the littles, but if you're more of a kid, then he is laidback

huge arts and crafts kinda guy, since he likes doodling himself, it's very easy for the two of you to spend an afternoon just scribbling and coloring

you will probably spend more time outside than inside, tbh. he'll bring out balls and chalk and bubbles, anything you want to keep you entertained

will come up with a secret handshake with you (that both of you will forget within the hour and make up a new one)

so many cartoons. he likes watching them anyways so it's a no-brainer for babysitting

if you play with dolls, scout will make them fight each other

loves loves loves games, from hide and seek to the floor is lava to even just counting, he will make everything into a competition

he'll let you win on purpose though because it makes him happy to see you happy

"i can't believe you beat me again, toots! you gotta give your big brother a chance next time, yeah?"

will let you give him a makeover! if you have makeup, he'll use it, but usually it's just acrylic paint or washable markers because no one else at the base owns makeup

lets you stay up way past your bedtime, especially when it's movie night

holds dance parties in the common area oh yeah !!! they typically end up in scout trying to dance battle

banner by me :)

[letmesleeponu4sumtime]

There’s a weird tingling in my palms by my wrist, where your thumb meets your palm as I finished ‘Set My Heart on Fire’. I can't verbalize it, I'm just teeming with emotion right now. I could be moved to tears right now if my sister wasn’t in the bathroom just a wall over, about to enter our room any minute.

I like to cry alone.

Mirror of my mind; that’s what that book was for me. It was like looking in my reflection through a warped, murky window of a building. I read it quickly so it literally felt like catching a glimpse of yourself. It’s funny (not really) that I relate so much to Izumi in this novel because on paper we’re drastically different. But her intensity runs parallel to mine.

“I run at a different tempo than most of my lovers. By no means was I flippant. I’d pour highly concentrated, intense feelings into a man. I’m sure it looked very reverent and emotional. I think it is. But there’s an affected quality to my affection.”

My intensity as always frustrated me, the way I become intoxicated by obsession when I have a crush or meet someone I like. I’ve never met anyone that seems to get it. Not that I particularly want to, I like the feeling of there being a fire within me that only I know. Maybe I’m a little masochistic. Izumi gets it though, so intense yet so nonchalant, so “indifferent”. It’s the first time I’ve seen this part of myself so clearly through the eyes of another.

There were many moments where I felt compelled to grab a pen and underline, jotting in the margins. As I finished the last page I felt tempted to flip it back and restart it. But I’ll wait a few years it’ll hit even closer to home then. Even closer to that stake in my loin. I’m thinking 27....

My eyes aren’t watering but there’s a slight tenseness around them; an aching to release my tears.

I've allowed myself the pleasure of getting swept away by the current and now that it’s over, I’ve found myself in the middle of it vulnerable and threatened with shallow breath. Yet, outwardly i'm oddly calm and composed.

My attitude strikes me with surprise sometimes.

A recent conversation with a friend is coming to me now, “In getting to know other people you get to know yourself.” That’s what this read felt like or rather…it was like meeting myself in a lucid dream, where I am not current self but a version of it…perhaps from another life...

I am crying quietly now, I can’t help it. My eyes swallow back the tears before they could fall. It’s overwhelming when things end. Especially when they end so bluntly, without a happy nor sad ending. It’s realistic, that’s just how things are.

Can’t keep from crying sometimes.

Izumi Suzuki the woman you were.

[dangerousartisanwerewolf]

To all the Americans on tumblr rn...

I am not American, nor am I old enough to vote yet as I missed being the legal voting age for my province by only about a week- curse my extremely late birthday.

(which weirdly enough has also had such an incredibly tight election that they are still counting the votes right now even though it happened 2 weeks ago because the two parties are basically tied. }

but I am also very worried for you guys way down south. Hopefully America will put the right person into power this time and everything ends up being ok for you all. Not to be too cliché but I am sending thoughts and prayers and I hope you guys all stay safe down there. I honestly can't even imagine how you guys fell- I don't even live there and I've been feeling increasingly nauseous as the hours go by and I have had to offline for the most of the day.

Remember:

To take care of yourselves. Just in general, in whatever way you see fit

You absolutely do not have to live stream the election polling/results thing on TV, doom scroll election content the whole day long, watch the news, or consume any other election related content. As horrible as it feels to say this; the results will be the same regardless of whether or not you are watching it. Sometimes it is just better for you and your mental health to just log off of sm/screens for the night

If it all does feel like its getting too much for you, please log off/take a sm/screentime break

Most importantly, if you haven't already, please vote!!!! I am not American and am barley old enough to be considered a legal voter (Missed my own countries election *tears*) so I can't really help in terms of providing resources but I am sure there are all sorts that can help you I'm sure. I know that its getting late at night; some polls have closed already but not as many as you would think. I found out that most are actually open way later than I thought. As it turns out, some are even open til 1! You learn something new every day I guess!

Just Please, Please, Please go out and cast your ballot and make your voice known, with how close this is quite literally every voice matters!!! GO VOTE!!!

Poll closing times in case you need it (I only included ones that close 8pm and upwards because it is 7:30 at the time of writing this)

8 p.m. ET

Alabama

Connecticut

Delaware

District of Columbia

Florida (Polls in Eastern time zone close at 7 p.m. ET; part of Panhandle are in Central time zone)

Illinois

Maine

Maryland

Massachusetts

Mississippi

Missouri

New Hampshire (Polling hours vary by municipality and are listed by location here)

New Jersey

Oklahoma

Pennsylvania

Rhode Island

Tennessee

8:30 p.m. ET

Arkansas

9 p.m. ET

Arizona

Colorado

Iowa

Kansas (Polling locations close at 8 p.m. ET in all except four counties in the west)

Louisiana

Michigan (Polling locations close at 8 p.m. ET in all except four counties)

Minnesota

Nebraska

New Mexico

New York

North Dakota (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET in all but eight counties)

South Dakota (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET in the east)

Texas (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET for most of the state except three counties in the west)

Wisconsin

Wyoming

10 p.m. ET

Montana

Nevada (The polling location at City Hall in West Wendover closes at 9 p.m. ET)

Utah

11 p.m. ET

California

Idaho (Polling locations in the south close at 10 p.m. ET)

Oregon (Polling locations in Malheur County close at 10 p.m. ET)

Washington

12 a.m. ET

Hawaii

1 a.m. ET

Alaska (Polling locations close at 12 a.m. with the exception of Adak)

I'm not really sure what other useful info I could put as I don't know much about America or it's electoral system but I hope that helps.

A lot of people I have seen have been posting about how they feel sick to their stomach's and that they can't get off the news and how they just feel terrible so...

Things you can do to distract yourself for the rest of the night (And possibly the next few days, idk how long it takes to count votes)

Have an early bedtime/take a late nap (Only go to bed after 9 at least though, otherwise you'll mess up your sleep schedule and make you feel worse.) Just sleep your way througb it if you cant help it.

To add on to point one I often use asmr if I can't fall asleep right away/to distract myself. My favorites are: Jaden Aliana Asmr, Oceans Asmr, Kaitlynn Reha asmr, and my absolute favorite Goodnight Moon ASMR (Check out her babble brook, 1920's, or valley girl series')

Listen to a podcast (I like Rotten Mango- informative true crime, Buzzfeed unsolved- funny true crime/ghost hunting, Look behind you- also true crime, and Chris Chan; a comprehensive history)

Never too late for some cleaning! Clean your house, bathroom, bedroom, closet, do a deep clean.

If your a student like me- do your schoolwork! I know you have some studying or homework that needs to be done! Get on it!! I use the pomodoro method if that does anything

Have a self care night- do an everything shower or fancy bath, make facemasks, mani pedi's ect.

Watch a movie or marathon t.v shows you love/that are comfort shows (Some of my comfort shows are; Bobs burgers, Gravity falls, the moomins 1990, the office, what we do in the shadows, black books, derry girls, moone boy, and all creatures great and small and M.A.S.H. Some of my comfort movies are; Little women, the cornetto trilogy, Emma, Legally blonde, Pride and Prejudice)

Never too late for some cooking! One of my favorite hobbies is cooking and baking (Mostly baking) Make some chocolate chip and snickerdoodle cookies, muffins, cupcakes or try a fun cake.

Go for a night walk! Just make sure you bring a buddy and some flashlights of you're in total darkness like I am right now. (Love me a Canadian fall! Already snow where I am so of course that means everyone now needs to immediately put up Christmas decorations lol. At least the lights are nice at night)

Spend time with loved ones. Call or text a friend, spend time with your family, roommates, whoever. If your on campus at a uni see if there's literally any activities or clubs open at this hour you can go to

Read. I know you have a tbr you keep meaning to get to

Go on a research rabbit hole about something interesting. Try to learn something new. Some topics to get you started relating to where I live cause why not; Try to learn about : The Animals of Canada, Indigenous cultures and peoples of Canada- ex: try to learn some Cree or Halqemeylem phrases, try to memorize all of our provinces and territories.

Get through any chores you still have to do

Make/do something creative: Play an instrument, record a song, make a collage, paint, draw

Play some music, listen to your favorite songs on loop (Spotify's still collecting data for wrapped!)

Download a videogame on your phone- just one to pass the time even if its total addictive trash. Some ones I like: Moomin town- Idle, relaxing, town building, slowpaced, free, Miriam webster quizitative- free, wordgames, has an end to it, Toca boca hair salon- not free, hair salon game, endless, Toca boca town- not free but there are dupes, dollhouse game, bird bnb- townbuilding, slowpaced, as well theres all sorts of cute isle cat games; I like the grocery store and cafe ones

Make sure to:

Drink water

Eat at regular intervals

take breaks from screens (It'll hurt ya eyes)

get some sleep at some point

Don't sleep all day (Try to get up at a normal time)

if you feel like you need- put screen time limits on your phone. Or as well, turn down the brightness if you feel you have to doom scroll.

That's all for now. Hope you guys are doing ok and that the results are what we are all hoping for. Just know that you are in pretty much everyone's minds and we are all thinking of you (Even if we don't live in America). Stay safe and take care of yourself and your mental health.

Love, thoughts, prayers, and support from Canada/Tumblr and have a good night.

Congrats if you managed to get through this absolute brick of text. I commend you. I'll probably check back in tomorrow.

[maxdibert]

to be fair to Sirius, his hatred of Sev in their adulthood (and probably in their youth as well if we're being honest) is less about him being evil and almost entirely born out of pettiness and arrogance, as well as just naturally clashing personalities and opinions - he doesn't even initially believe Sev to be a DE, but he still hates his guts! it's delightful how utterly delusional Sirius can be when it comes to his relationship to Snape, how he convinces himself that the bullying of teenage Severus is somehow retroactively justified by adult Severus' choices. I love him, he's so interesting as a character

Well, of course, Sirius doesn’t hate Severus for anything related to the Death Eaters—that’s a totally absurd simplification. Sirius hates Severus because he turned Severus into the equivalent of the "Mudblood" concept his family had, meaning: "the other." He understood that hating Muggles or Muggle-borns was wrong, but he never learned to rid himself of the prejudices he was taught. So, instead of hating what his family hated, he despised what his family represented, and what better representation of everything his family stood for than someone who desperately wanted to fit in with Slytherin? Someone who, curiously, wasn’t pure-blood but half-blood, who just so happened to have a Muggle father, who was raised in a Muggle neighborhood, and who had just as much of a Muggle background as any child of non-magical parents? It doesn’t seem like a coincidence that he despised him so much, especially considering that Sirius was still an aristocratic kid, quite arrogant, and probably unconsciously couldn’t stand the fact that someone like Severus, coming from the very bottom, had the audacity to want to be something Sirius Black himself considered an abomination. And above all, I think it bothered him that Severus wasn’t an easy victim. I mean, Sirius was a Black, he had nearly noble blood, and his family was used to people submitting to them. Plus, he was popular, tall, handsome, and strong. And the poor, ugly, resource-less kid with no blood status, instead of whining and begging for mercy, stood up, defended himself, and challenged him. That was something he clearly couldn’t ignore.

The dynamic between them is very interesting because they both have the ability to get under each other’s skin. They literally can't stand each other because they have the same shitty character, except Severus is rational and introverted, while Sirius is impulsive and extroverted. As I’ve said, they’re a terrible combination. One is capable of deceiving the most skilled legremens of the last century, maintaining his cover in front of expert and skilled Death Eaters, and holding his own against anyone who stands in his way. The other survives twelve years in Azkaban, becomes a fugitive, and has the guts to sneak into the most protected fortress in the magical world—Hogwarts. And it only takes one word from either of them for the other to completely lose their nerves and they’d both jump at each other, tearing each other apart like rabid animals or like two stupid kids, however you want to see it. Honestly, I think we were robbed of some wonderful moments by not putting them together in more scenes because they were pure comedy gold, seriously.

[zoomclown]

Spoilers for season 1-2 of Red Valley Podcast!!!

I'm just realizing how much hypersleep, specifically in Warren's case, functions as a metaphor for relationship abuse.

Like to start with, the only reason his life even lead to this situation is his patterns of behavior that resulted from his trauma. We don't have the full picture, but we see his tendencies to let people push him around until he snaps and turns violent are all trauma related. And I assume that something like this was what lead him to kill someone.

He stays at Red Valley for a few reasons: 1. It's the easiest option. Being here doesn't require him to think, make choices for himself. He gets to (literally and figuratively) shut his brain off. 2. he genuinely likes being useful. 3. Deep down he doesn't believe he deserves better. So he stays, lets them put him into life-threatening peril over and over again. Lets them push him around and mistreat him. Tells himself (any everyone else) that he's ok with it.

And all the while he's being told that this is what makes him valuable: the fact that no matter what they do to him he will still come back. Everyone else who has ever been treated this way is gone, and that makes him special. Makes him different. Gives him provable to base his self worth upon.

All he's wanted for so long is for anyone to tell him he's valuable for any reason. He's proud of the fact that he's the only one who can take it. It's the one thing he has that no one can take from him.

And when he finally decides to stand up to Bryony and tell her she can't tear him like this anymore, the first thing she does is throws everything he has ever done wrong in his face. Reinforces the idea that he doesn't deserve to be treated any better, because she knows that if he stops consenting to the treatment she doesn't have legal grounds to keep him there. And while I think she'd probably try to keep him there against his will anyway, it would make things a lot more complicated for her.

And the reason he keeps coming back (both literally AND figuratively) is because of his trauma. It's so important to me that the only reason he can take the level of abuse he is currently taking without either dying or running away *is his trauma.*

The thing that makes him special, the reason he is valuable to them, is because he is damaged.

And this is both what's keeping him alive and what's killing him.

So yeah anyway how's everyone else's weekend going

[kudoichiz]

kudoichi.

Kudoichi are an absolutely beautiful and amazing yet tragic pairing, I can't stress enough just how much they mean to me and how they quite literally changed the way I think - uh so ig have my attempt at my takes/reasons as to why I ship them.

Kudo and Yoichi to me embody genuine love, care and compassion which is something I don't see represented much in various media or even in real life - or at the very least I just doesn't resonate with me. Their story as I mentioned is so beautifully tragic I just feel the need to sob violently whenever I think about them. Kudou reaching his hand out to yoichi, a stranger, someone related to all for one - his mortal enemy gives us so much information about him as a character and kudoichi as a pairing.

Kudou, a resistance leader who had the intentions to kill or at the very least harm whoever/whatever was in the vault {him having his gauntlet ready, his narrowed gaze and his initial threatening domineer, etc.} stopped the moment he saw yoichi, his gaze quite literally softened and his first instinctual reaction was to go and help him, to reach out to him. It's not a stretch to say that Kudou was a kind person/was willing to help people out, that is after all a characteristic that I believe leaders possess/should have. But given the circumstances - a war, in the enemies base, unknown person, Kudou should have been at least a little weary of Yoichi. But he wasn't. Kudou let his guards down the moment he saw yoichi, which to me is indicative that he trusted yoichi, trusted that he was a good person from looking at him. Kudou reaching out to yoichi is so significant to their relationship also, if he didn't reach out ofa wouldn't have been born . Not only that but it was a moment that gave yoichi hope - he calls Kudou his hero, he views him as a saviour. From this one singular interaction kudou already trusts yoichi, and yoichi sees him as a hero - if this is what can be derived from one interaction what about the two months they spent together?Horikoshi didn't give us much on what went on during those two months but Kudou and Yoichi were clearly close to each other: the conversation they had about all for one, Kudou crying when yoichi died..

Now I want to talk a bit more about moments in the manga because most of my reasons as to why I ship them comes from the manga panels themselves and the way they're drawn and the text and not just their story.

Let's start with hands. Horikoshi himself stated that hands could express emotions just how faces do and it's so clear to me. Their hands are drawn so gently, it shows not only Kudou's domineer towards yoichi but also now caring he was. The hands are drawn to indicate that kudou didn't rush yoichi, even if they didn't have a lot of time to waste. Yoichi so slowly yet gently going to hold Kudou's hand shows this. But it also shows that he also trusts him, it shows that willingness in this moment. Kudou wanted to save yoichi but yoichi also wanted to go with Kudou.

Kudou and yoichi were actually so close to each other when you think about it. "victory meant life, and defeat meant death" it's clear that kudou was desensitized to death at least to some extent, as he views it as something almost natural to their cause, he also didn't have time to mourn any deaths. Over time a person just starts to get desensitized to it yet when yoichi died Kudou started tearing up. Yoichi meant a lot to Kudou, his tears indicate that he felt strong emotions towards him. Something I think about is Yoichi's name reveal being said by Kudou. This implies that they were close enough for him to know his name and regularly call him by it, so regularly that he's the one to eventually reveal his name, ik bones cut this out to make AFO the one to reveal yoichi's name in the anime but this just goes to show that Kudou was closer to yoichi than AFO was . Kudou was closer to him than his own family.

This is another thing I think about a lot. How Kudou views yoichi, these are from Kudou's pov/in context with Kudou. Yoichi is always drawn inconsistently and I think that's on purpose. It seems as if he's drawn prettiest whenever it's in context with Kudou implying that that's how he saw him.

Also. Kudou and yoichi blend into each other here. And their vestige colors come from the same shade, just different hues. They're eachother's half, no at this point they are one. This reminds me of "yoichi's will is now within me" and how Kudou carried ofa because of yoichi unlike the other users that had the power to defeat AFO. Kudou wanted that's sure, but he continued because it was yoichi, because of yoichi's will.

The first thing he thought of btw!! He was so close to yoichi that he could sense him, his quirk factor inside of him .

Also this panel. The implications here are that Yoichi was no longer all for one's, he became kudou's. Kudou was also referred to "the man who stole Yoichi away."

Also: Kudou becoming softer when he talked to yoichi shoes how much he cares, and how his domineer was always so gentle towards him.

This is a very scattered post ik but I have more to yap about, the ofa transfer. Yoichi didn't know about the quirk but thanks to kudou and Bruce researching it it was concluded that DNA and consent was needed to past down OFA. The transfer had to have happened mere seconds before yoichi died since he had to consent to give his power. Yoichi fully trusted a man he knew for two months to accidentally give him OFA. Such trust is hard to build over two months. Also the implications of DNA needed and the accidental transfer are crazy when you think about it. They really were close. Very close to each other.

Erm anyways idk I would have gone into more details but writing this is alr overwhelming but I can yap more if there's questions.